Ancestral healing — understanding Karma, Dharma, and healing.

Karma is action and its consequence. When we are born in a family, we inherit both wounds to heal and the gifts that heal them. We are inherently born to heal, quite literally. When we start ancestrality healing we understand very simple truth, not every person who has died has become an ancestor. Most, actually, don’t.

The idea of unconditional love within a family can be healthy or not, it can serve as a means to protect the children from harm, or, to our detriment, to keep us silent about abuses within the family. Unconditional love is nothing of that, unconditional love is to recognize the other person does no harm or intends to. Hence, our love has no conditions.

Karmic cycles serve as means to understand our family patterns, we don’t really need to live up to the action of it, much less the consequences. We can actually choose to remove ourselves from the constant cycles of abuse, neglect, and mistreatment in general. It’s a choice, and a very difficult one, or not so much, depending on the person.

For me it took two nervous breakdowns to understand the scope of the issue that my own traumas have brought — 20 years of pain and suffering, or more, to reach a place of not being able to “be” anymore my happy self. I’m not sure for how long I’ve had depression and anxiety, I saw the first therapist due to anxiety when I was about 13. I’m still healing.

Karmic cycles play out as an identification of what is familiar, and we keep reenacting them until we understand the pattern and move on from it. It’s a choice too. It’s called self-destructiveness, and it’s very noticeable for all outside of our scopes of perspective.

Self-destructive behavior usually includes alcohol, drugs, or relationships. Nowadays smoking cigarettes or marijuana is acceptable to deal with the normal stress of life. Self-destructive behaviors in general, we all know, stem from trauma, it’s obvious for those who connect 2 and 2 together. It’s really obvious that folks self-destroy due to pain and suffering, isn’t it?

So, finding the Dharma, purpose, and life-force, of our lives, connects to healing first, and to being healed second. To heal is to accept the harm that was done to us and to not do the same to other people, and primarily to be able to not react in aggressive ways. I’ve never been violent, only the violent people in my life have mentioned I was violent, to all the others I’m not. A bit unstable in the past? Quite naturally. Finding my Dharma is about finding my own balance, and equilibrium. Finding my source of happiness is about being able to look at all the trauma I’ve endured and say: I’m no longer in that past, it won’t happen again. To be completely healed is the goal of anyone who undergoes treatment for trauma. Don’t let anyone insinuate it’s not possible to heal, we all can.

So healing with Ancestral Healing is about finding the patterns of abuse, and disengaging with them — to heal them is to make them conscious and feel the heartbreak, and then move on. We will have lingering issues to deal with, such as core beliefs that may be unhealthy coping mechanisms that no longer serve us, smoking cigarettes, or drinking a few glasses a week — or a month, or a year — but in general, the unhealthy relationships cease to exist. What happens actually is that we stop identifying with the unhealthy patterns, and we connect more deeply to a sense of self-preservation. We no longer accept what is not real love, which includes respect, affection, caring, support, loving presence and awareness, and a lot more other good traits. And it’s not peace and it’s not love, it ceases to make sense. It’s unfortunate when others around us don’t accompany us, but it only tells us is time to move on.

So healing with Ancestrality in mind is to pay respect to those before us who have healed all the things we need to heal as well. Your own body carries the DNA of this healing, it knows what to do — listen to it, trust yourself and your body, trust your heart. And to disengage from the patterns of abuse is to deeply recognize our own importance to our lives. Is to understand that no matter how small and isolated we feel, we are not, at all.

So, complex social problems occur when people from different families perpetuate the same cycle. And hence, creating social problems, that must be healed within certain families. And the connection to this is done by faith, belief in a higher power, and a lot of perseverance. No one is put on this world to suffer, and I highly doubt it is a choice too. But it is a choice to accept a higher power’s help, and we never do regret asking. It’s incredible how connecting with Ancestors helps us keep the peace of mind of healing as a central aspect, and it helps us be more in tune with who we are, and what we are here to do. There is no going back in time and being born into another family, there is only choosing the present moment, and choosing to heal never fails us.

Peace of mind is achievable when we understand that others don’t see it as we do, and that’s ok. It’s about their journey, not ours. Our peace of mind is about our journeys.



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Matilde Magro

Matilde Magro

Regenerative Designer, entrepreneur, artist, teacher.