Things to talk about instead

Tired of this last year’s public narratives? Want to discuss important matters at a different level? This is a topic list of all the things people should be discussing but haven’t for a long time.

Appropriate mental health discussions

For starters, I think society evolved a lot in this sense for the past half a decade. A lot more dialogue is happening around mental health, and a lot of what is being discussed is important. For some reason, however, with the pandemic somehow it became taboo again to discuss certain issues. One is the high level of conspiracy nuttery happening in the world at the moment, and how it affects people already affected by it previously. Second, what is in fact happening with people with previously diagnosed mental illness?

For one, I’ve been diagnosis-free for about 5 years now, which is great. And the pandemic really hit home for me in terms of mental self-care and self-care in general. I started some new self-care rituals in terms of what I can do to keep myself afloat and not spend the day in bed catastrophizing every single news report I read. In fact, for the past week, I’ve been news-absent and in fact, it does not hinder my life, it only benefits it. But, if I was reducing my medication slowly for these past years, at the same time, this pandemic only showed me I need to wait a bit more. If you know very little about mental health issues aside from attributing the wrong names to the wrong symptoms, the mind is all over the body, and when something as stressful as a global pandemic hits, the whole mental fluctuation becomes unstable for the normal person, now imagine for the more sensitive. I wonder how people diagnosed in the autism spectrum have been dealing with this too, despite being debatable whether a mental illness or not. In fact, a lot has become debatable recently.

I did a Facebook take-back conquest of my feed at the beginning of the pandemic: I unfollowed dozens of pages and unfriended dozens of people. Amongst them, most of the ones spreading conspiracy theories and right-wing extremism were mostly folks related to the mental health field in terms of profession. It was quite enlightening for me how these folks benefit from a broken system much like leech benefits from whatever it decides to leech on. More than that, the most posting-safe ones, are the ones I know previously diagnosed with mental illnesses. This was quite the revelation, a running joke was that at least, these folks take some meds already and that surely helps keep the sanity. Another thing was that from all these people, a lot of my friends, some of who I haven’t spoken to within decades, came to ask how I was doing, feeling, and dealing with stuff. Most I think had sort of a revelation that this could be weary for me in terms of going back to previously held beliefs in conspiracy theories. What I found in myself though is a healthy dose of skepticism that allows me to filter absolutely everything that comes into my awareness, from political propaganda to news that makes no sense. But most of all, it made me realize that with the right stress levels, most people are prone to believe in conspiracy theories, it is really that easy. People I consider “the sane ones” in my life have absolutely lost that status for now. And people I considered “the ones who need medication for sure” are all blocked and far, far away from life.

What I did do, however, was a deep investigation into triggers and emotions and it somehow made me realize that I have a lot of good feelings and good emotions that need to be played out, instead of giving so much energy to things like pesky envies, or regrets, or so much intensity to previous trauma. I “forgave” an abuser… I mean, I want peace of mind over that subject, and to say I forgive it just means I let go of the hurt and pain and carry on, it does not mean that what he did is right. He replied that he is “love and light” which gave me a very “Yeah, right” feeling and a good laugh talking about it afterward. Anyway, because of trauma, all the folks who were already dealing with the crap that no one has to deal with or deserves to deal with, are now dealing with the same crap, plus all the intensity a global pandemic hits on the nervous system. It was not the best time to look into triggers, let me tell you.

Because I was already on the lowest dose of the medication possible, after years of tapering down, I had to up the dosage a bit during a period there because I simply wasn’t being able to handle emotionally all that was going on. As much as I avoid news and newspapers, I also live with someone who reads a lot of news and likes to talk about them. Which makes it difficult to run away from that particular monster.

But I’ve been dealing with a lot of crap that is important for me and others, and also, because of all this, and because I jumped into work and studying to pass the time and not think about all the crap, I almost reached a place of relapse into a psychotic state recently. The whole isolation, constant media triggering stuff, not being able to be with my friends for several reasons, being in quarantine again, dealing with minor stuff in the loop, like cleaning and using fewer dishes. Things like that became triggering, so I began a heavy sleep all day until it passes rituals. I started doing crochet and other crafts, I restarted my artistic projects, I started working with arts organizations, and it’s been helpful.

Most of all, I can’t deal with one more word about social change from people who are not interested in change at all. That was the real turning point, I know hundreds of people who advocate for change but keep their crappy behaviors all the same for decades now. If you aren’t going to change yourself, keep your opinions rather mildly quiet, because you’re part of the problem.

This turning point for me was just simply a no. No, I won’t deal with this anymore. No, I won’t take more crap from this type of person anymore. No, I won’t accept disrespect anymore. Those were the boundaries I laid out, to preserve my mental health and stamina. And looky, looky, it works. All it takes is to not reply and just block numbers, e-mails, people on Facebook. And poof, the issues are gone.

So, in all this, the important questions are: what are we actively doing to change the social narrative of a mental health population which is feeble, dependable, abnormal, into one of “this society heavily needs healing in general, we need to stop blaming crazy people if millions of people still voted for Trump after all this”? Or, what is the medical community actually doing for the mental health population? And is it helpful? Or, what can I do to support the right solutions to this problem?

Social involvement does not mean you will “get it”, it’s not contagious. You can help a lot of people just by posing the right questions.

Anti-colonialism needs to start where colonialism meets different cultures

Let's see for starters, the considered “Global North” is fiction. You have certain parts of Europe, Canada, the US, and then New Zealand and Australia. Then the considered minority of the “Global South” you have parts of Europe, all of Africa, all of Asia, all of South America, and maybe Antarctica and the North Pole if conservation funds are still as crappy as they were. More so, you have a lot more globe in the Global South, and a lot more population in the global south, and yet a lot more indigenous land and native species who are still thriving. At the same time, there’s a Hero narrative to the West (the West usually meaning the US and maybe the UK if they play nice and not mention soccer is the true football), that this part of the world needs saving. Wait a minute: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, thank you.

If you think for a second that Portuguese people feel they need rescue from the US, you can really second doubt that, if you think Namibia wants rescue from the US you can really third doubt that, what the Global South really wants is hegemony over its own land.

Long gone are the days where colonialist rule belonged to the Caravelle Conquerors, and Columbus did not find North America either. Nowadays you have the most nationalistic country in the world trying to dictate how everyone else should think, feel and act upon certain guidelines, while their own social normatives are catching fire. That’s what’s happening, mostly because of oil, debt, and nuclear weapons. But to be an actual Empire you need an Emperor or Emperatrisse and Biden is not up for that kind of rule, I think. Ask me again in two years.

To think, however, that what we read all the time in the news about what’s happening in the other sides of the world (who always need immediate action), and to actually believe “we have the solutions”, is downright laughable. I lived for a long time in China and there never was a headline saying “What the West really needs is communism”, although a lot of Westerners do believe that same thing.

It’s kind of obvious when you look at things this way why the West has created so many enemies.

To this, I don’t say that I support China’s government. I don’t, I lived there and there was a lot of crap I wish there wasn’t and thankfully I live in a liberalized socialist country now and things at least seem better. I do know that whatever my western opinion of China is, is none of my business to interfere. To have to say this to folks in the anticolonialist movement, well, it’s infuriating.

To that anticolonialist narrative, I propose a thinking exercise: do you know what’s happening in Angola? How corrupt the government is? That activists are sleeping in the forest to not get arrested? So, you think the Portuguese should do something about it? Or do you believe Angola’s people can handle the situation? Apply the same principles to Afghanistan and the US. The perpetuation of terrorism is done by the US, not more not less. Ever try to end a fight with a punch? How did that go? The bigger punch won? That’s nice.

A lot of the discussions happening around colonialism and anticolonialism neglect a few things. Look, I love Yoga. I really do, as practice is one of the most helpful things I do for myself. The whole of it, learning as I go and even some people in the field are pretty awesome folks to have conversations with. But at the same time, I fully understand that my westernized conceptualization of Yoga is not accurate. I completely understand that is a colonialized version and I have to accept it for now.

A lot of people from the activist field who are actively fighting racist narratives are also actively racist towards other cultures. The amount of times I need to explain that the West really has no business in dictating how other cultures should live is preposterous. I really shouldn’t have to explain this so much. From lack of understanding the culture to downright ignorant propositions, from being against globalization and not understanding why, to minimizing and downright silencing a heavy percentage of the population calling them minorities really hits home in terms of colonial narrative, doesn’t it? I was watching a video the other day, with an all African-American pannel, talking about certain ideas that exist in the American community at large about the African-American community, and I’m glad this panel happened because it made me understand two things. First, the colonized land rulers do not want people, they want subjects. And two, the only way to change things is by changing things, talking about it all may help the organization of movements, but in the end, they’re vain words if actions don’t accompany them. What the African-American community is actually saying is that they aren’t anyone’s subjects. Cheers to that, neither are we.

Let's also mention Higher Education

The more I study outside of the Higher Education Business (cof, cof, cof), the more I understand that the only way Higher Education can go is towards total freedom. It is as if we want an educated humanity with actual education.

I do study education too, it’s one of the things I’m passionate about, and more and more, not just because of the pandemic, parents are realizing kids need other types of things. That the way things are going, schools act as a deposit of kids for the day so the parents can make money to keep their kids deposited in a school. So if schools don’t evolve to places where kids actually learn valuable things, there is no point in parents paying for it. What’s valuable is, is now undergoing valid and much-needed scrutiny by parents and teachers alike, thank Heavens.

Now, we only prepare kids for the exams to get into Higher Education, that’s basic schools and highschools main goal, not more not less. You want knowledge, you study at home, like every normal person. You don’t read? Sorry, you’re in for a lifetime of weird Facebook posts and people not really being able to discuss with you important matters. If Facebook somehow ends, you also end up being neglected as one of those who do not really socially matter at all.

So, why do we give Higher Education this type of power? Does Academia serve the world well in terms of coherence?

We give this type of power to Higher Education because it is inculcated in us since our younger years that we need to relinquish our understanding of things in light of a standardized form of learning which serves no one, not even schools, teachers, or governments. And also, that our voices don’t really matter in terms of the important stuff. Other people might know best.

The more illiterate the people are, the more difficult it is to actually govern the people, and governments know this. A well-rounded person in terms of education understands the need for fluency in terms of how a society is managed. If that’s through the democratic process, good. Anarchism is a nice ideal in a world that is healed from former wounds, in a world where respect towards difference is of the most valuable, in a world where different opinions are held in love and compassion, and not conflict and bias. Otherwise, you’ll still have a lot of conflict with barely and sustaining method to protect yourself besides guns.

This not to say peace exists due to policing, it does however support that if certain parts of society are trying to kill another, it is not taken further and it’s not judicially allowed. Otherwise, African descendants in the West would have no voice, at all. And Jada Pricket wouldn’t be allowed to host Facebook lives discussing important subjects to the community.

I am however saying all of this because, in the early days, our parents told us we need to pay attention in school and get good grades because it would help us in the future. And it does, it’s not a lie, but also it brings us to the question that most of us when we get to our 16th or 18th birthday, we have really no idea what course of action we want to choose for our entire lives.

That’s when *bedazzled entrance* online learning comes in!

Coursera and other platforms are opening up the way for a radically different perspective and interaction with Education. I belong to several groups where people with a lot of knowledge but no ability to get a higher degree in a “valid” institution are learning how to do things that in the past would be impossible for them to learn. Particularly folks from the Global South, who have no ability to learn anything outside their own realms of influence, which by far it’s safe to say things like public sewage systems take higher priority than let's say, philosophy.

It also gives us the chance to change courses of action, I started with Arts, went through the Sciences, and am landing in types of Urbanism, Architecture and Permaculture all combined. I never thought about it before, but hey, here I am. And I don’t regret the journey at all, but it is interesting how in light of how adamantly against this form of higher education I’ve been my entire life (not the existence of it, but the governance of it), and how now I’m advocating for it but in a sense of turning to it for the right reasons.

Higher Education needs remodeling in terms of the purpose it serves. It’s no longer about specialization and building ever-growing distrusting academia, but about getting the tools needed for several specialties to combine into healthy forms of right action.

If for valid knowledge you can pay a small fee and get the information you need and tools that will last a lifetime, then by all means, why make it so difficult?

Coping with reality

This has been a difficult article to write, I’m tired. So one way to cope with my insomnia has been to meditate a lot. I’ve been meditating about 2 to 3 hours a day, and a lot of it is just to sit there and allow myself to rest.

I find rest to be the single most important thing I do all day. That’s what really propels me to be able to do anything worthwhile. If I have a hard time resting, I get restless (ha, language is fun), reactive, and can’t really handle things all that well.

I’ve been taking long walks with my dogs to be able to just be with nature and feel that all of this will calm down soon and some sort of tranquility will rest on humanity soon. We all need to really take a dive into resting. A pandemic with forced house seclusion is not really rest, if you’re reading the news all the time and getting stressed about world events.

My crochet and doing ceramics is really helping me feel useful. It’s meditative work, it’s helpful to learn how to navigate life with the tranquility needed. I’ve been finding fun things to do and my dives into Pinterest for ideas are joyful rides of creativity bursts.

And also, I’ve been talking a lot with trees. I already was considered somewhat nuts, so this might not be a shock. It’s helpful to digest situations when you get the silence you need to express yourself accurately, there is this sense of understanding and quiet to discern what matters that is really helpful.

We all have ways to cope with difficulty, but honestly, the best decision of my life was to move permanently to the countryside and just allow myself to be with myself once and for all. I found a lot of things to change, and a lot of good to accept.

Accepting our own innate goodness might seem difficult, beyond the ego inflation of grandiose feelings. There is this sense of self-love and self-preservation that leads us to understand things a different way, from a perspective of kindness and tranquility. Much of what I learn with trees is how to be at peace with myself and how to stay calm on windy days, allowing my branches to float a bit and my leaves to rattle.

What other ways can we help ourselves to cope? From friends and family passing away, and no chance to really mourn, go to funerals and support the remaining family? How to lend a hand and pass through the difficulties without entering the dark waters of familial conflicts and difficult resolutions? How to not succumb to paranoia, restlessness, and over-medicating to calm down?

Infusions of chamomile and valerian do help, it’s true, but most of all we need the right actions. Actions that will help us feel we are on a good track in life, that helps us look with caring affection towards ourselves, and a lot less disappointment towards others.

Rest allows us time to remember how much we like other people, and how it’s safe to have the commodity of being able to know what we dislike about them too. Because it is safe to think what we wish, it stops being safe for us when we believe all others will never understand our positions, will never understand where we are in life, and will never accept who we want to be. It's just not true. Rest allows us to remember that we really do wish the best for everyone else and everything else. That, for me, is the best way to cope with reality.

To know what to take seriously

My dose of skepticism isn’t for everyone. I simply do not believe anything I read. It’s a mechanism that I had to accept for myself because I had psychosis due to drug use, and because before I read a lot of bullshit. So now, I take everything I read with a grain of salt.

It’s difficult to live this way because we do need to trust in something besides ourselves to be in this reality in a healthy way. What for some may be crap, I do trust a lot of spirituality’s takes on this: trust in goodness, trust in love, trust in compassion, do not be idiotically compassionate. Those premises really help me navigate the world, in a different yet more grounded way. The fact that with this pandemic there couldn’t be any trustworthy piece of news that wouldn’t change the week after, helped me see things in a different light, and to think for ourselves is basically one of the most difficult tasks there are.

The interconnectedness of everything helps us feel safe, more so than other things. To feel connected is to feel secure. Like the crochet blanket I’m knitting, the stitches help keep the whole tapestry in place, warm and cozy. We need to believe not all stitches are meant to harm us, or that there is a worldwide conspiracy to harm us all. But we do need to accept a valuable lesson: the human world, given all the points described above, is full of incompetence. That is for me the hardest lesson to accept in all of this, in a time where we need to accept governments above our own instincts to hug and be social. It’s difficult for us anti-establishment folks, it truly is one of the hardest of times.

Also, when diving into this moral questioning of ourselves and everyone around us, there is a light that is bigger than the shadow. We do know, intrinsically, that no matter how hard things get, this life we live is important. We do understand that very viscerally now. If there is anything to really take seriously, is this. Life matters, the ways we relate to living matter, and what we do and partake in life matters. No more bullshit, no more waltzing around pretending certain things aren’t important because denial is easier. Trust in good, trust in love, be compassionate but not idiotically compassionate, because life matters.

If anything, life matters.